Although
it has nothing whatsoever to do with British women writers or the middlebrow
(apart from the fact that it involves a thoroughly unrepentent middlebrow—i.e.
me), I have to do a brief post to share with you all a special event that took
place last week. We didn't make a lot of fuss about it, invited only four
friends who live in the city, and we both worked at our respective jobs for the
morning before taking the afternoon off, but last Monday Andy and I headed to
beautiful San Francisco City Hall and tied the knot.
As
just a bit of background, our relationship has developed right alongside the
heating-up of the same-sex marriage issue in the United States. Only a few
months after we met in 2008, Gavin Newsom, then mayor of SF, brought things to a
head by deciding that there was nothing in the California state constitution to
prohibit same-sex marriage and ordering clerks in San Francisco to begin issuing licenses and
performing ceremonies. It was an exciting time, but having just met, we weren't quite ready to
take the plunge yet.
Later
that year was the big election which saw Barack Obama become president but also
saw a proposition passed in California to outlaw same-sex marriage. This left
several thousand couples who had married in the intervening months in a kind of
limbo—technically married but uncertain about whether their marriages would be
invalidated at some point in the future. This limbo continued between 2008 and
2013 while the courts considered the validity of the proposition, and in June
of 2013 the proposition was finally struck down and same-sex marriages resumed.
Around the same time, President Obama announced that the federal government
would recognize all same-sex marriages that were legal in the states where the
couples lived, with all the federal tax, insurance, and Social Security benefits that implied.
Allowing
for the fact that Andy and I are the kind of people who say, "You know, we
really should [insert activity] someday" for at least a few months before
we get around to actually doing anything about it, the fact that it only took
us a year and a half after the option became available again until we actually
made things legal is not really so
bad.
We
didn't make a huge fuss about it all (we only let our families know when we
posted about it on Facebook afterward), as we felt we were really just
finalizing what we both already knew and felt. But it's hard not to feel the
drama of a ceremony at City Hall when it's so lovely, and even a five-minute exchange
of vows holds a certain inherent power and meaning that we both felt. This might be even more true because it's something that for most of our lives we had assumed we would never have the option of doing.
Only
a few days after our marriage, the news came that the U.S. Supreme Court will,
in a few months, hear and (hopefully) decide the same-sex marriage issue once and
for all for the entire U.S. So history will continue to unfold in the next few
months, and it's exciting to feel that Andy and I have been a small part of it
all.
Two
odd details about our marriage at City Hall:
Since
the City Hall building is quite lovely and historic (sadly, it was also where
trailblazing gay activist Harvey Milk was assassinated, along with then-mayor
George Moscone, in 1978), there are always tourists snapping pics. I hadn't
quite made the connection that this meant there would be tourists snapping pics
of our wedding, but that was indeed the case, including a young Asian woman who
seemed to want to capture a real live San Francisco gay wedding from every
possible angle to show her friends back home! Oh, well, it's kind of fun to be a
tourist attraction, I suppose, for however short a time.
Then, after the ceremony was over, we were heading upstairs to take more
pictures among the big dramatic arches and windows, and waiting outside the
elevator was a familiar figure—another former SF mayor, Willie Brown, who, when
approached out of the blue by my friend Katherine (who would undoubtedly boldly
approach the Pope or the President or just about anyone else if it meant
getting a good picture), very graciously agreed to pose for a photo with us.
Congratulations, wishing you all the best for the future
ReplyDeleteCongratulations and e-hugs and e-confetti all round! :^))))
ReplyDeleteYay! Yes, congratulations! Even your description of the Asian tourist has a British flavor btw,somehow. :)
ReplyDeletewishing you both well...happy news!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations and best wishes to you both. Thank you for sharing this very special moment with us :)
ReplyDeleteWell, everyone elsle has already said congratulations - drat. WELL! ALL ALL ALL sorts ofe very good wish for your happiness. I am smiling as I read your news and admire the photos - you are so lucky (both of you!) IF Andy can put up with all the books and book searching, then it MUST be a match made in Heaven! HUGS from Pasadena! Tom
ReplyDeleteThat is lovely news - many congratulations!
ReplyDeleteMany congratulations and every good wish for the future to you both!
ReplyDeleteIt must be the wedding season - I have heard of several recently and received an invitation to another today. Very pleased to hear your news, and best wishes to both of you for a happy life together.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations! I've been following your blog pretty much from the beginning, and when I read posts about how Andy takes your "wanted" list and searches for your authors at the library book sales, I thought "there is a keeper!" Good luck and many years (and book sales) together!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations! I hope you have a very long, happy life together with many book sales to enjoy.
ReplyDeleteThat's lovely news - congratulations to you both.
ReplyDeleteI've read your lovely blog almost every day for the past 1 and 1/2 years and I've never comment before but I felt so happy for you hearing the good news and wanted to say
ReplyDeleteCongratulations! My you live a long and happy life together :-)
Congratulations! Are you going on an epic book-hunt for a honeymoon? :)
ReplyDeleteWonderful news, Scott! Congratulations to both of you!
ReplyDeleteOh what excellent news! The very best wishes to both of you from faraway England.
ReplyDeleteTerrific news! Many many congratulations!
ReplyDeleteMany congratulations! Best wishes for your future together, all "official" as it now is!
ReplyDeleteI also want to send my congratulations. Sorry that they are late, but I tend to visit your blog from time to time, rather than on a daily basis, and I just heard the good news. Best wishes for many happy years together and may the laws and society trends stay in the positive direction.
ReplyDeleteJerri
Belated hearty congratulations, (at what point does one start adding belated?...In snail mail days I would have still been quite timely!) This is a perfect opportunity to say hello, love your blog, share your obsessions....England, UK, women's fiction, England, obscure British women authors, England. And I only live an hour North of the SF, so consider myself a neighbor as well as soul-mate. I am very happy for you, marriage is wonderful and a continual adventure. Thus speaks one having travelled 33 years down that interesting path.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations! I am a day or so late, but wish you two every happiness in your future. Nice photos!
ReplyDeleteMy best wishes for a wonderful forever together!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations! I'm fairly new to your blog but am really enjoying it.
ReplyDeleteMichelle.
Congratulations!
ReplyDeleteWishing you both all good things and lasting happiness,
Jane
I just know Andy will come through in a big way for your first anniversary gift—paper in the form of books!
I've just discovered your blog, and what a happy note to start on! Mazel tov.
ReplyDelete