My
relationship with E. M. Delafield has undoubtedly been a bit on again, off
again. The Provincial Lady novels, of course—I mean, what can I say that
hasn't been said before? They are
wonderful and have, frankly, acted as a literary therapist for me on untold
occasions. But for some reason it took
me forever to read any of Delafield's other, more serious work, and now that I
have, I must report that my experience has been a bit mixed.
I finally
started, a couple of months ago, with The
Way Things Are (1927), which featured prominently in Nicola Beauman's discussion
of women's fiction in her book A Very
Great Profession and which is practically the quintessential feminine
middlebrow novel. I found it to be
simultaneously a more realistic version of the Provincial Lady's life—allowing
the deeper stresses and strains and dissatisfactions to come through—and a more
romanticized, fantasy version, as the harried main character falls in love with
a handsome, debonair, doll of a man who (of course!) adores her back and wants
nothing more than to marry and live happily ever after. She sacrifices true love, however, for the
sake of her children, thus providing a comforting warm glow of noble
self-sacrifice for the novel's readers—many of whom might have related quite
well to the frustrations the novel describes and the temptation to escape them,
and might have enjoyed the thought that true love with a perfect man could be
waiting for them as well if they, too, weren't so noble and self-sacrificing.
I had
a lovely time with The Way Things Are,
but didn't feel I had anything scintillating enough to say about it to warrant
a full review. Then shortly after I
realized that, tucked away on the bottom shelf of my "to read"
bookcase, was this book—a happy find at one of the San Francisco Public
Library's giant book sales a couple of years ago. I had forgotten all about it, and when I
rediscovered it I couldn't wait to dive right in.
While The Way Things Are focuses on a wife and
mother who resists temptation, however, First
Love begins with one who gives in to it.
Delafield's fascination with this theme might make one wonder about the
relative level of fulfillment she felt in her own marriage in these years—just a
year or so before she created her immortal Provincial Lady, who made such a
lovely frolic of the same frustrations.
But be that as it may, when First
Love opens, Fay Carey, mother of young Ellie, has run off with another man,
and Ellie, piecing together what has happened from what little she is allowed
to hear, romanticizes the event she is forbidden to discuss:
The version that presented itself to her mind of her mother's
story had become part of her phantasies. Phrases that she could not remember
having heard recurred to her when she lay between sleeping and waking, and gave
her a strange, frightening and yet ecstatic thrill.
"He must have been waiting for her at the station—the
last train, too—close on midnight."
"She went out of the house with only her lovely velvet
cloak, and her jewel case in her hand—Marie never missed it till next
morning."
"You may say what you like, but they've given up the whole world for one
another."
It was with that last sentence, and its romantic implications,
that the thrill became definite. To love, and to be loved, formed the sum of
all Ellie's daydreams. For herself she craved nothing less than romance—and nothing
else.
Although
the adults around her express concern that Ellie might inherit her mother's
disposition, in fact this early romanticizing of what is ultimately a tawdry fling
(there are clear indications later that Fay hasn't been faithful to her second
husband either) seems to cause Ellie to grow into a fragile, naïve, and emotionally
needy young woman. She is contrasted
throughout the novel with her cousin Vicky, who is sophisticated and liberated
and cynical in the inimitable post-World War I style (a flapper in spirit, if
not in practice), and who comes to resemble her aunt in more ways than one—much
more than poor, awkward Ellie ever does.
I admit that while Ellie never really excited my interest as a
character, the following passage, which absolutely reflects my own experience
with anything requiring manual dexterity, did produce a spark of real empathy:
She had been told, ever since she could remember, that she was
clumsy, and untidy, and that her fingers were useless, and she knew it was
true, for she always picked things up by the wrong end, and put her clothes on
back to front, and catches and doors and safety-pins and knots that worked
quite easily for anybody else always defeated her.
(I
only rarely put my clothes on back to front—luckily for Andy, who is
practically required to be seen publicly with me—but otherwise this could be
taken as a description of your poor hapless middlebrow blogger!)
The
meaning of the "first love" of the novel's title is not quite as
obvious as it might seem. Although the
story does hang primarily on Ellie's terrible choice of Simon, a shallow,
superficial young doofus, as her first love (words like cad and bounder were
created for such chaps), it may also refer to Fay's experience in finding her first love (such as it is) only
after she was married to someone else.
Or it could refer to Ellie's father, who rather touchingly never quite
recovers from his foolish first love for Fay.
He, in fact, became one of the novel's most relatable characters for me—eternally
cranky due to his own unhappiness and solitude, torturing Ellie with his
contempt, being generally a poor father whose (rare) attempts at real parenting only
backfire and cause her pain, and yet, somehow, nevertheless seeming to warrant
a big hug. Who could read of his first
face-to-face encounter with his ex-wife, many years after she abandoned him,
without feeling a trace of compassion?:
Lady Dallinger raised her head, carefully looking straight in
front of her. An additional tinge of exquisite sadness seemed to pass over her
face. Her profile, only, was presented to George Carey's gaze. His hand went up
to his mouth, in a series of nervous, agitated movements. He dropped his top
hat, and Ellie heard him cursing beneath his breath, as he stooped to recover
it. When he straightened himself again, white-faced and breathless, she had
passed on. The anti-climax, with its graceless, awkward triviality, seemed
pitifully characteristic of him.
Passages
like that one show Delafield's perceptiveness and empathy—and her ability to
bring a character to life in just a few words—fully intact. Unfortunately, though, for me such moments
were a bit too few and far between here.
Somehow I suspect that Delafield didn't intend Ellie's irritable,
sharply critical father, who mostly fades into the novel's backdrop, to be the only character who awakens compassion or
interest. But the others are all people
I wouldn't bother to walk across the room to talk to at a cocktail party—which
rather subtracts from the novel's power.
In
fact, I'm not quite certain who was
meant to be the heroine here—the easy-breezy Vicky, who is unimpeded by social
mores and is able therefore to coldly plan a loveless marriage in order to remain
a party girl for life, or the rather dim-wittedly traditional Ellie, who is so
emotionally raw that one might feel an impulse to ship her off to the
Foreign Legion for some therapeutic toughening up (the WAAFs didn't exist when this novel appeared, but Ellie is indeed a prototype for one of the kinds
of women who, a decade or so later, might have been saved from themselves by the prospect of some challenging war work). Vicky memorably advises
Ellie at one point not to listen to "the people who want you to purr and
lay eggs," but the advice is probably wasted on Ellie, who seems to aspire
to just such a life of purring and egg-laying.
(Or perhaps I'm missing the point altogether and Delafield intended neither
to be a heroine? Perhaps she was making
a bitter statement on the condition of modern women? Well, you be the judge.)
Despite
what I found to be the novel's weaknesses, there is one really striking passage
about halfway through the novel, in which Ellie, tormented with doubt about
whether Simon (aka The Cad) really really likes her, decides to give up
on him, leaving London and returning home to the country. Her train ride and her first day or two at
home provide a powerful evocation of pain and heartbreak:
All her thoughts came carefully now, like wounded people, creeping very cautiously, on tiptoe,
afraid of being hurt anew—or like frightened things, noiselessly seeking a way
out of some place that was fraught with peril.
…
Ellie looked out of the window.
How very far away from London she was already. There would be
no need, to-morrow and the days following, for her to dread going, out, because
of that utterly irrational expectation of an encounter, that always ended in
the sick flatness of disappointment.
…
"Take your seats for the first luncheon, please." It
was a great help to move, and to walk down the narrow swaying length of the
corridor, all one's attention taken up by the effort of not letting oneself be
thrown against the sides of the train.
Lunch occupied nearly an hour.